So I’m going to start out by saying that blogging is obviously not my strong suit. It is going to take some serious willpower and dedication from me to get this thing going. I like journaling for myself, but I am not in the habit blogging regularly online.
So why am I even blogging? Because I have a 250 business cards with this website on it. So I need to make good use of it. Also I wanted to create a website to track my relationship with God and how he is using me and opening up opportunities for me in the media industry.
Since my last post in September a lot has been going on. The basic timeline since then is as follows…Sept 27th was a Sunday night and my family and I were outside having a bon-fire while watching the rare lunar eclipse that was happening. This was going to be the fourth blood moon in the last two years, and according to some scholars this had some heavy meaning. For us, it happened to fall on the Jewish holiday referred to as the Feast of Tabernacles which as Christians we had decided to observe this year. In recognition of this holiday my family and I spent the evening outside watching the blood moon eclipse and fellowshipping with each other. As part of our celebration, my mother, her friend, and myself had all planned to camp outside that night. It was our way of spending the night outside in nature with God and just praising Him for his glory and magnificence. According to the Jewish calendar it was also the beginning of a new year and this was the year of prosperity and jubilee. Before retiring to our respective outdoor tabernacles, we decided to pray with each other to honor God, lift up some troubles on our hearts, and to speak some blessings upon our coming year so that we might experience the provision and jubilee that comes with being a child of God. Specifically for me, I know that I was praying for provision for the coming year, and for some guided steps regarding my work in media.
We wrapped up our evening about 2 a.m. and the next day I had to get up around 5 a.m. for a commercial shoot I was working on for the day. The night before I had remembered thinking that I would be tired the next day, but that it was important to me to honor God and spend time with him in his presence. My heart had been heavilyy seeking direction for the days ahead, and I remember thinking that I only had a week of work scheduled for the month of October, and I wasn’t sure when my next paycheck was going to come. Working as a Production Assistant on the commercial shoot for the day alone was a blessing and I was grateful to have the gig. As we were wrapping up the set around 6 p.m. I received a message from a producer I had previously worked with on another show. She had mentioned that her friend was going to be working in the Dallas, Texas area and she was looking for Production Assistants and wanted to know if I had any recommendations. Having gone to college in Texas I had a few friends in the area but none of them were applicable to the job. After a little digging I found out that the show would be shooting for seven weeks in the area and I had a friend who lived only 30 minutes from where the production office would be set-up. My wheels started turning as I realized that I might be the Production Assistant they were looking for. I made a few phone calls and put some makeshift plans together, and after spending the night praying about it I proposed my plan to the Production Coordinator for the show.They were on board with the idea, and now it was Tuesday morning, and I had three days to get everything together, travel a few thousand miles across the country, and start working on set on Saturday.
I spent the whole trip listening to worship music and praising God for an answered prayer as big as this. For me this was huge! I was so excited and happy to have the job, a place to stay, and an answered prayer as big as this. I was telling everybody I met on the drive down how real God was.
Fast forward four weeks…
Here I am now, sitting on my friends couch where I’ve been sleeping for the last four weeks. The show I am working on is about a comedian and his family. His wife is a famous Gospel singer, and he has played some major roles in a few movies and a television show as well. They pray everyday before they start shooting, and often include the crew if they want to join in. The hours are not that long, and every day I’m fed at least one meal, and all the water and snacks I could want while on set.
In theory I should be a happy camper. However, there are moments where I’m not happy with something and my ego or my pride gets in the way. I have a hard time dealing with certain things, and I let it get under my skin. Everyday I drive home from work I am having a conversation with God praying and hoping that the next day will be better or smoother. It’s not easy work being a production assistant, but I remind myself everyday I’m blessed to have a paycheck for 7 weeks. Especially considering 4 weeks ago I had no income planned for the coming months and what felt like some insurmountable debt.
But here we are. I have been a little down lately because I look around and see that I am the lowest guy on the totem pole. That there are people who get treated much more fairly then I do. Production Assistants get paid the least, they’re more often than not the first ones in and the last ones out on set, and we often have the crappy jobs. The saying is you have to pay your dues and just suck it up and deal with it. That can be very hard to do sometimes, especially when you see the way certain people treat others. It’s hard to be treated that way, and sometimes it makes me lose my perspective. But at the end of everyday I have to remind myself that God has me here and I am blessed to be here. Not many shows in this industry come with Christian talent as the main focus, so that’s a big deal. Not many jobs ever, will pay for your lunch everyday you work. Not many jobs will get you in to cool places and put you face to face with super star athlete’s and actors. Honestly, it’s a great gig.
I believe God has placed a calling on my life and that I am here to follow it. I also believe that this is a season of humility for me and a season of gratitude. God is working in my heart to prepare me for future things. Jesus was spit on, beat up, abused, and he continued to sacrifice for others. Everyday I go to work I have to remind myself that I am not here for the money or the fame, but I am here to serve God. In my head I even created a mantra for when I get upset about something or feel that something is not going how I want it to. I say to myself “S.O.A” which stands for Serve Others Always. And even though it is hard to do, it helps me re-center my priorities and come back to focusing on God.
I’m fortunate to have another co-worker on set who is also a Production Assistant who comes from a Christian background, and we are able to talk about God and discuss our thoughts and feelings about life and how God is moving in our lives. This also helps keep me encouraged. In the time I’ve been down here, I’ve been been able to lay hands on and pray with two-different co-workers who were having some seriously bad days, and also reconnect with a friend from college and pray with them as well. This time last year, I would not have had the courage to do so or the fearlessness to go through with it. But everyday that I am growing closer to God I am believing in Him more as a true and active and living God and he is working in my life and my heart. He could not be more real to me, and honestly that is what makes all of this worth it. I look back and I see the moments where he made things happen for me that I couldn’t do on my own, and it makes me hopeful for the future. I’m here to give my best in a way that honors God, and he will take care of the rest. That’s the bottom line, and it makes my day a lot easier when I think of it like that.
I often am reminded of the Israelites as they were traveling through the dessert. God was with them, he provided food for them every morning and night, and yet they still thought they were better off in Egypt as slaves than they were in the dessert on their way to the Promised land. I do not want to end up like the Israelites wishing I was better off in the past than where I am now with where God has me. I am blessed beyond measure and I want to acknowledge that and thank God for that. My heart and my pride and my ego are the things that get in the way of that and keep me from realizing the blessings that God has provided me.
Count your blessings, and don’t be like the Israelites traveling through the desert complaining the whole time. Keep your eyes on God and he will take you to the Promised land. Don’t try and push your schedule either. God is doing his thing and you have to let him work it out. You can’t force God.